January 17, 2023

In many aspects I believe turning 29 is more important than turning 30. The last thing I want to do is take the same problems and issues I’ve faced during my 20s and bring them into my 30s. There are a myriad of things I need to correct in this upcoming year. We are often our worst critic and although I need to fix certain things I am proud of myself for progressing this far.

As I sit here and type I am thankful for the 29 years I’ve experienced in this incarnation. I’ve lived a good life. I’ve experienced moments of pull elation and moments of pure sorrow and pity. I’ve been madly in love and I’ve had my heart broken in pieces. I’ve secured dream jobs and lost them the very same week. I’ve spent the night in luxurious hotels next to beautiful women and slept in cold and barren jail cells. It’s been a whirlwind and there are things I would change, but I am thankful for each and every one of my experiences.

I’d like to thank everyone that wished me a happy birthday and everyone who took time out of their day to see me. It’s a blessing to see everyone come together and celebrate me. There have been moments throughout these 29 years where the last thing I wanted to do was celebrate myself. I’m going to get better at that this upcoming year. I think that’s truly the last thing I need to figure out. If I was to blame one single thing for all my issues, it would be that. The lack of true love for myself is the catalyst in everything situation.

There would be no self medicating with alcohol and drugs if I loved myself. There would be no lack of control over my emotions if I loved myself. There would be no obsessive thoughts and overthinking if I loved myself. There would be no finding love in the wrong places if I loved myself. There would be none of that if I loved myself.